Monday, July 26, 2010


Ever notice that when something good happens, the whole world seems to brighten up? But if, God forbid, the tables turn on your luck, doesn’t everything world seem to descend into the underworld of unhappiness? Floating on emotions between the heights of happiness and the depths of despair stressed me out to no end. Fortunately, my Alice “Free-From-Wonderland” taught me how to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground.

“Thanks for having us, we had a really good time!” we said to our host. My good friend, Alice Free-From-Wonderland, and I were leaving one of our friend’s birthday party, and we wanted to let her know that we had enjoyed ourselves (and not just because of the unbelievable amazing desserts she served J).

“I’m glad you came!” she responded. “Hopefully we’ll have another chance to hang out (and in our case, pig out J) together.” She waved to us as she returned to the exciting party in her home.

Once we left her house, AFFW and I began to drive all around town, just to hang out and explore. Of course, I had to have some shades if we were cruising the scene, so I glammed our exploration up with my blue denim sunglasses. While we drove around, we talked about everything: school, family, and anything in between. It was like a Dr. Phil catharsis session minus the drama and runny mascara.

After a while (because unfortunately fun only fuels teenagers, not cars), we stopped to get some gas. While AFFW paid and began to pump gas, my mind wandered back to the party, and all the people that had been there.

I’d seen her, and he was there, and….oh, she was there too, I thought. So many people showed up to this party! It might as well have been a class reunion.

When AFFW returned from the gas-pumping adventure, I commented about all the different people who had been at the party. “Any standouts you recognized?” I asked.

Pulling out of the gas station, AFFW said, “Not anyone specifically. My one friend was there…oh, and that other friend I used to play soccer with…and I saw an old ex of mine…”

Hearing the words “old ex” instantly awakened my curiosity. “Oh really? Who was it?”

AFFW began describing the mysterious ex, and I slowly realized this person was a fairly popular, well-liked person. It seems like AFFW would have had a good relationship with that person. I thought. I wonder what went wrong?

With all these thoughts swimming around my head, I decided to ask, “Well, why didn’t it work out? It couldn’t have been unfaithfulness, right? I couldn’t imagine that person doing that to anyone.”

AFFW responded, “No, it wasn’t cheating.”

Searching for reasons, I suggested, “Was it because of friend drama?”

Smiling as if friend drama was not a real issue (although we all know it can be), AFFW explained, “Of course not. Honestly, Abi, our relationship ended because I didn’t want it to become too serious. We’re just in high school, and we may think everything right now, with our friends and relationships, is so important, but realistically, we have our whole future to worry about that stuff.”

And with that morsel of wisdom, AFFW had given me a thought to savor for many days to follow. Those words brought all my worries and concerns down to earth, and helped me distinguish between which issues were just blowing in the breeze and which were firmly rooted in reality.

Lesson Learned: Be realistic about your circumstances. It may seem like this relationship or that exam is the most important thing in life, but remember, it really isn’t. For us high-schoolers, we have an entire future of experiences waiting to shape us. So enjoy yourself, and keep your wildest worries and wants in check with a dose of reality J.

“And you do it by understanding the difference between being a good person and being a perfect person. The first is possible; the second is unrealistic.” Harold Kushner


  1. Abiye what an interesting piece I really enjoyed you and your AFFW FRIEND'S CONVERSATIONS AND LESSONS LEARNED

  2. Abigail Mariam, you are so wise beyond your years. My friends read your blog and are inspired and uplifted. Keep these articles coming (and I love the sunglasses as the picture for each post).

  3. Abigail Mariam, I just read the news that you were honored as Humanitarian of the Year. Congratulations! Keep it up!

  4. Nice one Abi. I am linking my followers to you, leader.