Integrity

Although I’m pretty sure each blog I write shows that I find inspiration in unusual places, I think the Harry Potter books have opened my scope of inspiring sources to a new “unusual”. The one event that has inspired me the most in the series was when Dumbledore awarded Neville Longbottom ten points for Gryffindor in the 1^st book. Neville received the points because he showed courage not by confronting his enemies but by standing up to his friends when he believed they were doing something wrong. His actions introduced me to the idea of integrity, but I never completely understood it until my Brave Bystander showed me how much courage it really takes to have integrity.

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“Ok, here we go!” My teacher said. “Pencils out, clear your desks, it’s test time!”

Test time, how wonderful, I thought sarcastically. Maybe after test time we can write a paper too!

I may have been a little grouchy about the test that day, but I knew I had no reason to complain about anything. I was not dealing with ridiculous workloads or issues with family or friends. My only concern at that moment was doing well on my test. Exchanging my pink sunglasses with racecar flag print for my pencil, I heard my teacher tell us to take our time on the test because there were a few trick questions. I felt my stomach sink as I thought, Trick questions? Really, you HAD to tell us that? Once I received my test, I tried to clear my mind of those uneasy thoughts and got to work.

Hmmm, this one’s a little tricky but I think I got it…..Yeah, that one’s “A”……on and on this commentary was going on in my head, like two sportscasters were giving me the play-by-play of my progress. Just as my hand started cramping, I heard one of the mustachioed guys in my head call a time out.

As I took a look around my classroom, I noticed every student was intently focused on the test. Nearby me I saw my Brave Bystander gripping a pencil with and staring the test down with a deeply focused gaze. Dang, I guess everyone’s probably got their own set of sportscasters in their minds right now, I thought. Nice to know I’m not the only one.

Once my hand had stopped throbbing, I went back to completing my test. These questions aren’t TOO horrible. I wonder what my teacher meant by trick questions???

Right at that moment I heard a collective “Ugh!” from my class. As I turned to the final page of my exam, I realized that my teacher had made all the trick questions about topics we had barely discussed. Internally moaning myself, I thought, Great, I read about this stuff a month ago! What am I supposed to do???

I hunkered down and tried to “process-of-elimination” my answers to the last five questions. Around me I heard kids in my class asking the teacher for help, but I tried to tune them out. I was able to answer four of the last five questions, but the last trick question had me wavering between two answers. It could be this one right? But I don’t remember reading about this!!! Still, this one makes more sense….But what about the other one? AHHH, What is happening here?

I could tell this was the question that was stumping everyone in my class. I heard people asking my teacher about how to understand the question, if this answer or that answer made more sense, any and every question available. I can’t think!!!! Which answer is it?? Which answer…. And then, as if someone turned on the light bulb in my head, I remembered the answer. My teacher went over an example of this in lecture! I KNOW WHICH ANSWER IT IS!!!

I put down my answer choice, turned in my test, and before I knew it, class was over. And it’s a slam dunk for Mariam! I heard the sportscasters say in my head.

As I was leaving my class that day, I noticed my Brave Bystander fiddling with some papers on the desk. “Hey, BB, what did you think of that test? Crazy, wasn’t it?” I asked.

“Yeah, I guess so….” BB responded. How unusual, I thought. BB usually always has something funny to say. “Is everything ok?” I asked.

After a few moments of deliberation, BB asked me, “Abi, did you change the answers on your test to what people said in class?”

What??? I thought. Oh no, BB thinks I cheated on this test! “No, of course I didn’t do that BB! I was wavering on the last question until I remembered our teacher lecturing on one of the answer choices.” Ouch, I thought. Why would BB say something like that?

BB said, “Oh, okay. I just thought that you changed your answers because everyone in our class was leaning toward one of them.” As BB left the classroom, BB waved at me and gave me a little smile.

After that event, I felt a bit offended by BB. I couldn’t understand why BB would have confronted me like that. Luckily now, a little while later, I realize BB was trying to make sure I wasn’t doing anything to debase my own character. As uncomfortable as it made BB, s/he still did what s/he had to do to protect and uplift me. I’d say it was an action worthy of one hundred Gryffindor points J.

Lesson Learned: Demonstrating integrity can be very difficult at times, but it truly is what makes someone a good person. Sure, it may be hard to tell your friends, your family members, even your parents when they are doing something wrong or offensive, but you have to let them know that you are only trying to help them make better choices. It will take time, but building integrity in your character is the most important step to being a good person J.

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching.” Jim Stovall

Passion

When I was eight years old, my dream was to become a world-famous actress. To this day, my 3^rd grade teachers remind me of my aspirations to excel in “movie star college”. I’m sure I am typing to a crowd of former astronaut hopefuls and prospective Presidents of the United States, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we were willing to do whatever it took to achieve our dreams. The sparkle of our exciting futures gave us the passion we needed to become whatever we wanted. Unfortunately, as I grew up, my sparkling dreams began to fade as passion became a distant concept in my crazy high school life. Luckily, on an everyday coffee run, I met a Starbucks Sparkler that brought that 3^rd grade sparkle back to my dreams.

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AHHHH, Winter Break, I thought. It was after school on the first day of my winter break, and I was looking forward to resting. After a stressful semester of applying to colleges and searching for scholarships, it was nice to finally have some time to just hang out at home.

As I walked into my house and dropped my backpack in the kitchen (hoping to forget about my homework during my two week vacation) I could only think of the hours of sleep I would be recovering. Sinking into my couch, I fantasized about the five hour nap I was planning to take until I realized I had promised one of my friends to meet for coffee. Oh five hour nap, we were so close, and yet so far away! I thought. Well, at least I’m getting to see an old friend, so sleep can wait….for now. So, grabbing my keys and sliding on my red sunglasses, I hopped into my car and drove to the nearest Starbucks.

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“Oh my gosh, it’s been too long!” I exclaimed when I saw my buddy. He had just returned from college, and I couldn’t help but be excited to see him.

After ordering our drinks and asking each other the usual questions (“How’s school? What are you doing now? Are you so excited for break?”), we started talking about college. My friend described to me his experience as a college student. While listening to him, I realized that in the hustle and bustle of senior year I had not been enthusiastic about my future in college. Don’t you remember how excited you were freshman year when you realized college was only four years away? I asked myself. Now, here you are, three months from decision day, and where’s the excitement?

As if he was reading my mind, my friend asked me what I was looking forward to in college. “Well, I’m pretty excited for the independence, new environment, and new things to do,” I responded unenthusiastically. Whoa there, Abi, don’t be too excited now, I thought. “I guess it seems a bit too far away to seem real to me.”

Enter my Starbucks Sparkler, a woman grabbing a midday coffee, into my deflated expression of my emotion toward college. As my SS was adding sugar to her coffee, she overheard my conversation and jumped in, saying, “Excuse me, dear. I heard you say you were going to college next year, and I want to encourage you to pursue whatever dream you have. Honestly, if you are lucky enough to have your dream at your young age and have the means to achieve it, go for it!”

My SS continued to tell us about her own experiences as a young woman attending college thirty years earlier. She told us she was passionate about studying astronomy, a field that had been previously untouched by women. Her passion motivated her through society’s pressures and even the pressures within her own family. SS advised us as young people today to use our passion for our dreams to propel ourselves to success.

After sugaring her coffee to perfection (and returning to our table a few more times to give us more advice), my SS left Starbucks. That was a pretty interesting situation, I thought. Why did she insist on telling us to be passionate about our goals?

Now, significantly more rested and eagerly awaiting my future university life, I realize my SS wanted us to understand that passion, a true desire and commitment to something, can motivate you to achieve your dreams, regardless of what obstacles may stand in your way. SS taught me that anyone, from the eight-year-old dreamer to the slightly unconventional astronomy student, can have the passion needed to make any dream come true.

Lesson Learned: Just like an actress cannot star in a film without a script, no one can truly achieve their dreams without passion. Passion is the point of reference to which you can look when you are discouraged, stressed, or even exhausted with your lives. When the wildly emotional scenes of your life’s movie threaten to pull you from your dreams, it will be your passion that reminds you to stick to the script. Take it from the almost-premiere actress of our time, having passion will help you win the Oscar of your dreams J.

“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.” T. Alan Armstrong

Humility

I don’t know about you guys, but when I get a compliment, I feel my ego inflate a little bit. Come on, you can’t tell me that when someone congratulates you on a job well done, you don’t feel a little more special than everyone else J. But in my efforts to be humble, I always try to remember that every decision I have made has been shaped by the actions of someone else. Giving the credit to whom it is due is an important part of demonstrating humility. Yet, after experiencing one of the most exciting events of my life with my Modest Miracle Maker, I have learned the important second component of being a truly humble person: the ability to support someone else in achieving her dreams.

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“WHAT???” I exclaimed into the phone. Wait, wait, wait, I think you’ve got it all wrong, I thought. The Young Humanitarian of the Year is supposed to be some incredible kid that cured cancer! There’s no way they can be talking about…

“You, yes, you! You’ve won the nomination!” the joyful voices on the phone said to me. “We’ll call you in a couple of weeks to help you prepare for your speech at our formal banquet, but until then, congratulations!”

Oh my goodness, it really is me! I thought excitedly. I can’t believe this!!!!

I received this amazing news in early June, so I had until late September to write my acceptance speech (and allow the shock to wear off J). The first week after I had received the news, I felt like I was floating on air. Not only was I excited for the experience, I was also really glad that I would be able to present my reasons for volunteering to members of my community. I get to be a voice for the all my friends who are involved in community service….YAY!!!!

As the weeks progressed and my excitement began to wear off, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable about receiving the honor. If I were a genuinely humble person, I wouldn’t need to be recognized for what I do, right? I thought. I can’t misguide my community into believing that I deserve all the credit for my passion for volunteering. I felt like embracing my honor as the Young Humanitarian would mean I was abandoning my humility as a community serviceperson.

This feeling festered inside me, and after a little while, I felt so guilty about receiving the honor that I did not want to accept it at all. After my once sky-high spirits had been weighed down by worries I shared my concerns with my MMM.

“What are you talking about?” my MMM said to me. “Of course your community knows you are grateful for this honor! If you were not a humble person, you would not have achieved anything they are recognizing you for!”

Of course you have to say that, you’re my friend, I thought. “How can I let them know about all the things other people have done for me? You of all people should understand what I mean, MMM. You are one of the main reasons why I am even being honored!”

“Oh, I haven’t done anything. You won this award based on what you did. Your heart guided you, okay? Other people have helped you, but you had all this in you from the beginning,” MMM said. Although I still felt a bit uncomfortable about receiving the honor, my pep talk with MMM boosted my confidence.

As I began writing my speech for the banquet, I realized it was possible for me to relate my personal service successes to the impact others have had on my life. When I presented my speech a couple of weeks later, I thought about all the amazing people that had contributed to my achievements, including my MMM.

A few weeks later, I thought about what MMM had said during our pep talk. There is no way I had accomplished everything I did simply because of who I am. MMM knows that just as well as I do. I thought. Then, like a beam of light shining through the clouds (cue the angelic voices), it hit me. Even though MMM knew it wasn’t just my efforts that contributed to my success, s/he was trying to give me the confidence I needed to write my speech. If I didn’t chat with MMM, I could not have given my genuine message to my community.

Although my MMM has made a huge impact on what I have achieved in my life, s/he set aside any desires for personal recognition to guide and support me while I was being recognized. Instead of seeking a place in my Oscar-esque speech (right after my director, but before my fans), my MMM was focused on lifting me up to achieve the most I could. I thought I was learning humility by recognizing others in my own achievements; little did I know that every influence others had on my life had been teaching me humility as well J.

Lesson Learned: An important part of humility is helping others achieve without seeking any credit. Acknowledging the influence others have had on your life allows you to think you are humble, but selflessly helping others succeed is how you prove it. Everything from being recognized in front of your community to an ordinary compliment is an opportunity for you to demonstrate genuine humility. The next time someone congratulates you on a job well done, don’t just think about your humility, prove it. J

Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. ~William Temple

Balance

Most teenagers today are masters of juggling, and I don’t mean flaming swords or tennis balls. We teens manage to juggle school, athletics, after-school clubs, friends, family, church, volunteering, sleeping, and so much more every single day. While some of us have become quite good at this insane circus act, most of us do not realize that juggling a million things will quickly tire us, and everyone knows the tired flaming sword juggler always gets burned. A little while ago I was in the same position, trying to juggle everything in my life and failing miserably, until my Sophomore Sage taught me that the real trick to this circus act is to balance all my activities.

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*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!* my alarm clock greeted me at 5 AM. As I angrily hit “Snooze” on the clock, wishing I had more time to sleep, I realized I was taking my midterms that day. The stresses and worries that had flooded my mind the night before were returning in waves of anxiety. AHHH, midterms!

I got out of bed and started getting ready for school. As I was brushing my teeth, I realized my bathroom as a total mess. Walking into my bedroom to make my bed, I noticed that my room looked like my backpack had thrown up all over the place. Wow, I thought, I haven’t had much time to clean up, I guess. Well, I would have cleaned up yesterday if I didn’t have to study for the history mid-term. I really should have studied for my science exam, though, that’s test will be more difficult…..

As I reentered the stress zone, I absent-mindedly threw on the cleanest pair of sweats on my floor and, carrying my three hundred pound backpack, ran downstairs to grab a quick bite for breakfast. Ugh, sweats again? I thought as I was sitting down at the table. Where are all my other clothes? Man, I have really been out of touch with myself.

Seeing my dad slide an egg on my plate at that moment made me realize I had been out of touch with my family too. “Good morning, stranger,” he said teasingly to me. “We haven’t seen you around here in quite some time!”

He’s right, I thought as I ate my breakfast. I haven’t had dinner with my parents, even seen them after school, since the beginning of the week. What the heck is happening to me?

This thought wormed its way through all my mid-term stresses into my head. As I was driving to school, I could only think about how I felt totally helpless to control my own life and that I was losing my grip on the world. I had realized I had missed numerous club meetings and my little cousin’s dance recital. Everything I did for fun was eliminated from my schedule because of my mid-terms. There is no way I can take my midterms now, I thought. I am a total nervous wreck!

I walked into school with this anxiety, which seemed to grow with each step I took. As I entered a teacher’s classroom to ask about the mid-term that day, I realized he was advising my SS about school, and stood by to wait for them to finish. After a couple of minutes, my SS thanked my teacher for the help and approached me to say hello.

It’s pretty cool that I get to see SS this morning, I thought. We hardly see each other anymore! “How are you, SS?” I asked. “Is everything going well for you?”

My SS replied, “Everything is great, thanks. How about for you? Is everything okay, Abi?”

“My midterms are really freaking me out, SS. I HAVE to do well on them, I just don’t know what I will do if I don’t,” I said. Although I had been thinking about this all week long, telling someone about my worries opened up a wave of emotion. I blinked back tears as I said, “I just don’t know what to do.”

My SS gave me a hug and the best piece of advice I received that year. “Listen, Abi,” SS said, “You are making yourself miserable. By stressing out over your mid-terms, you have only made yourself less capable to take them! Even if you did horribly on you exams, you can work it out with your teachers so you can retake them. You have got to give yourself a break! Try to balance everything in your life and trust me, everything will be okay.”

After that pep-talk, I wiped my tears and approached that school day with all the confidence in the world. Although I was relieved to learn I had done well on all my mid-terms, I was even more that grateful my SS talked some sense into me. I have now turned in my flaming swords in favor of a triple-beam balance; and I must say, as a senior balancing applications, school, friends, family, and activities, I believe it is working very well J.

Lesson Learned: You have to balance, my dears. Balance your family time with study time, your club commitments with “me”-time, your happy time with your sad time! It may seem scary to focus yourself on different areas of your life, but take it from someone who knows, it is even scarier to be stuck on one thing and see everything else crumble. Retire from your juggling career, and you’ll see that balancing your priorities allows you to truly enjoy your life. J

“Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”- Robert Fulghum

Wisdom

“A”s on a report card sure do make people feel good. What better way to show you actually know something in this world, right? Unfortunately, excellent grades, as awesome as they may make us feel, do not necessarily indicate how much someone actually understands about their world. The class brainiac may have all the facts memorized, but without wisdom, she’s just a cup that can be filled and poured at will. I was just like any other empty-headed smarty-pants, until my Wise Wonder Woman taught me exactly how to make the important stuff stick in my mind.

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SAT, SAT, SAT……My mind was reeling from brutal encounters with various Critical Reading sections and Math section formulas. It was the week before I was going to take the SAT and I was so nervous you could have cut through tension in my bedroom with a knife.

I had been studying in my bedroom since I had gotten home from school that day. Green sunglasses perched on my head, I had been reviewing vocab cards and math problems all afternoon. My stress levels elevated with each turn of the pages in my study books, and by the time my mom called me for dinner that day, I was overflowing with anxiety.

I feel like everything I’m doing isn’t helping me face this beastly test, I thought. Well, at least I only have this test to focus on…

BEEP! My cell phone was receiving a text message, a welcome distraction to my anxious eyes. “Hey Abi, don’t forget we need you to call the office for Key Club and send in that form ASAP.” Ugh, I thought, maybe this wasn’t as welcome a distraction as I wished it was. I completely forgot about that club stuff!

Logging on my computer to print out the forms I needed, I felt extremely burdened in all my obligations. SAT, clubs, what else do I need to do?!

A friendly Facebook update about an upcoming history test added to my mental madness. That’s right, the test is this week. I haven’t read over the notes at all this week! But I have to study for SAT \, oh yeah, and that club stuff too…AHHHH! How is this going to get done???

As I was drowning in a deluge of my thoughts, I received a text from by WWW that rescued me from myself. It read, “Hey girl, what’s up?”

I replied, “I’m okay…=P just really, really busy. How about you?”

“I’m pretty good =). What’s keeping you so busy?” WWW texted back.

Poor WWW heard everything that had made its way into my head that day. After filling a few text messages with all the news of that day, I typed, “And I just don’t know how I’m going to get everything I need done.”

I’m stuck, like a fly on sticky paper, I thought. I don’t know how I’ll make it out of this mess….

BEEP! WWW’s text interrupted my worries. In a clear, simply put phrase of wisdom, my WWW typed, “Abi, you know you can ask others for help, right? Just because you ask for help doesn’t mean you aren’t as strong as I know you are. =)”

That short message penetrated me to my core. Well, yeah, I can ask for help….But I can do it..., I thought. Oh, wait a second, actually I can’t do it all by myself…Why didn’t I think of that? I realized that I never thought about asking for help because I was so absorbed in working hard and doing the best I could on my own. Of course, even though I had all the resources available to me, because I had not asked anyone for help, I felt helpless. WWW’s little package of wisdom truly helped me, and I was so awed by that small but powerful piece of advice that all I could text back was what I truly felt: “Thank you. =)”

Lesson Learned: Wisdom trumps knowledge every time. Reciting the dictionary is not nearly as important as expressing the few words you really need to show someone you truly care for them; being a classroom genius won’t do much for you unless you learn how to apply your facts to the world around you. With wisdom, one can see beyond the stress, anxiety, anger, and disappointment in life and discover the hidden opportunities to realize that every experience truly is incredible. J

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kindness

Karma is the greatest motivator to do something nice for others. We are all taught, in some way or another, that we should treat people the way we would want to be treated. In “Abi Terms”, if I share my piece of cake with you, I should be able to expect you to do the same for me, right? My example shows that kindness these days has been transformed into something we exhibit because we hope others will do the same for us. I myself lived under this impression of kindness until a couple of Secret Samaritans taught me that true kindness is gladly given, with no strings attached.

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“CAR WASH!!!!! Come get your cars washed!” It was a sunny Saturday morning, and, you guessed it, I was working a car wash for one of my school clubs. All morning kids had either been advertising, waving signs and yelling at the top of their lungs, or scrubbing away at dirty cars. It seems like we are powering this carwash with pure enthusiasm and spirit, I thought happily as scraped away dirt from a car’s rims.

All that morning cars had been pulling in and out of our wash station. With a few sponges, soap, and towels, my club was raising money and awareness for our cause in our community. I was so happy to know we were reaching our service goals, but I didn’t have time to process our success right then. My mind was whirling that morning because I was the leader in charge of our entire fundraiser. Cries of “Abi, where should we move this car?” and “Abi, can we switch our jobs?” echoed in my head all day long. Feeling slightly overwhelmed, I had to constantly remind myself that morning that all the craziness was worth it because we were helping out our community. My friends are doing an amazing job with this fundraiser, I thought as I slid on my blue and brown sunglasses. The least I can do is mirror their enthusiasm and hardwork, right?

This thought and the generous donations of all our customers helped me overcome my worries. Although their monetary donations were much more than what we could have asked, the positive energy each shared with us helped to fuel our efforts all day long.

One couple of Secret Samaritans supplied our car wash with enough positive energy to power a small city! They brought an enormous truck with a bug-encrusted windshield that occupied the time of a few dedicated car washers. Our enthusiastic washers could have finished this truck in a few minutes, but unfortunately, because of our limited supplies, the job took us much longer than it should have.

The SS’s were pleased with their tidy truck after we finished, and paid us just as generous a donation as all our other customers. After they left, we continued to wash more and more cars with our one-house, six-sponge operation. We continued for a little while until we noticed that truck with the once-bug-encrusted windshield was pulling into our parking area once again. Wait a second….I recognize that truck, I thought. I wonder why they came back? Oh no, I hope we didn’t forget to clean any part of the car!

Feeling slightly uneasy, I approached my SS’s truck, and saw that, as they got out of their car, they were carrying a hose, nozzle, and hose splitter.

I must have been wearing my confusion like a mask on my face, because one look at me, and one of the SS’s said to us, “Listen, kids. Your operation here sucks, so we decided to give you these supplies to help you out. “

We all started jumping up and down and smiling until our cheeks were sore. Thanks to this lovely couple, who was just running errands on a Saturday morning, we were able to make more money for our cause. But more importantly, this couple of Secret Samaritans taught us that kindness really does not need to be solicited. Their donation had compensated for the fact that we had scrubbed their bug-encrusted windows clean, but this couple, who noticed that we were a group of kids who needed help, truly demonstrated kindness to us by helping us just because they could.

Lesson Learned: Kindness is something given freely and without any expectations of getting it back. Being nice to someone is not like maintaining a bank account, where you pay kindness to satisfy a debt of someone else being nice to you; when you are truly kind, you do something because you know it is right to do so. Kindness, sincere care for others, will make a deeper impact that the indebted kindness of karma any day J.

You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you. ~John Wooden

Strength

I’ll be the first to admit to wanting to be a superhero when I was a kid. Superman was completely the coolest hero out there! The thing I liked the most about Superman was his super strength. In the eyes of elementary-school Abi, nothing was too difficult for Superman to knock out of his way, and no one was stronger than he was. But, as both my taste in superheroes and my perspective changed as I grew up, I began to realize strength is not defined by how much you can push or throw. As my Hidden Hero showed me, true strength is measured by how many people, especially yourself, you can uplift.

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“Finally you pick up the phone!” I said. “Wow, honestly, it feels like I have to call a million times just to catch you for five minutes!”

I was talking to my Hidden Hero, a good friend who was not good at answering the phone. We had been able to talk for a few minutes here and there, but it had been a while since we were able to have a real chat.

HH replied, “I know, I’m really sorry. If only you knew how busy things were in my life right now, you would understand.”

I take NO excuses, I thought as I polished my black maroon-lined sunglasses. A few months without real conversations is way too long. “Business or not, we need to talk! I’ve got a lot to tell you, and I’m sure you have a lot to tell me too!”

“All right, well you will be happy to know we can talk for hours if you like ,” HH said.

With that invitation we proceeded to talk about everything that had been happening in life. New movies, clothes, and ice cream flavors were our main topics. Our lightweight chatting continued for a little while, but HH said one phrase that immediately anchored it to the ground: “Oh, and I’ve been looking at some colleges, too.”

I felt emptiness in my stomach as I said, “Colleges? Oh yes, college. An amazing experience achieved only by enduring the monstrous application process.” I said uneasily.

“Tell me about it! I have my heart set on only a few schools, but thinking about if my grades or a few essays are not impressive to admissions offices makes me crazy!” HH replied. “I just really hope the schools I am aiming for see how badly I want to go there.”

“I’m sure they will,” I said, “but I understand what you mean. But don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll both be happy wherever we end up.” I sure HOPE we will be. “Let’s change the subject. What has been new with you?

“Not much is new with me,” HH answered me.

“Really? What about your family, how are they doing?”

“Oh well, my grandparents aren’t doing too well. They are actually in the hospital right now both caught a really serious infection.”

Oh, that’s too bad, I thought, thinking about the numerous sweet treats and affection I received from those grandparents. “I’m sorry, I really hope they feel better. Well, how are your friends? Everything is drama-free, right?”

HH hesitated a bit before saying, “I’ve actually lost a few friends this year.”

Gossip strikes again, I thought. “Don’t worry, HH, if they aren’t trustworthy, they aren’t worth your time.”

“Not like that, I mean that some people I know have passed away. In fact, last month I attended a memorial service for one of my friends,” HH said quietly.

Oh my goodness. HH’s friends have died. Overcome with sadness for them, all I could say was, “I truly am sorry to hear about that. I can’t even imagine how you must feel. How are you dealing with this?”

HH replied, “It has been pretty difficult, but I’m learning to live with it. Their experiences have taught me to love and value my life, and I plan to live it to the fullest.”

Well said, I thought. “I’m sure that’s what they would have wanted. But are you sure you are ok? I mean, just a few minutes ago we were freaking out about college, but you seem to be handling this so well,” I said.

“I know I probably should be depressed or angry, but I know I have to push through these hard times and keep living my life,” HH responded.

Of all our conversations, this one taught me the most about my friend. I saw HH’s sensibility, courage, and strength. To be able to handle those hardships and deal with the growing pains of being a teenager demonstrated a real strength of will of which even Superman would be jealous.

Lesson Learned: Strength is internal. You may be able to move buildings like Superman can, but if you lack a strong character, you are truly weak. It may be difficult to face life’s problems with courage and strength, but in doing so, you will be securing yourself in who you are and what you are really made of. All issues, average or Superman-sized, can be handled with a bit of courage and internal strength. J

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” Mahatma Gandhi