Learning

Isn’t it funny how one month can feel like years long, or how you can feel entirely comfortable in a new place one day, and completely out of place there the next? While it may sound like I’m describing an episode of the Twilight Zone, this is actually my life, from the viewpoint of having lived one month in college. In the past year, I have narrated the important lessons I have learned in my life through my “shades of gray”, and when I came to college, I wasn’t sure if there were any more shades for me to view. It was only after I had read articles, taken notes, walked to dining halls, made spontaneous ice cream runs, been caught in the rain, salsa danced, discussed, sneezed, and laughed within an inch of my life did I realize the many, many more shades of gray that existed in our world. This was the Varied Veritas (Latin for “truth” J) I came to terms with, and from it I learned some lessons that have given me reason to clean my everyday lenses for the first time in a while….

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Sitting in my dorm room, exactly one month since I had moved in, I took out my journal and started writing about the amazing dinner I had just shared with my roommates. Wow, I can’t believe the time we had, I’d thought. Great food, great company, and a special guest: my Varied Veritas. I thought about how my VV had made an impression on me that particular night, how I was taught that being sure is not always necessary, and that one defines success in one’s own terms.

Curious to see where else my VV had made an appearance in the past month, I flipped through my journal to earlier entries to see what I’d written.

When I first got here my VV held my hand during the difficult time in which I learned that I can’t fix every wrong I see; my VV also helped me realize it’s okay for me to make mistakes in this “perfect” atmosphere. A couple of weeks into it, whirlwind classes and amazing professors made me truly listen to my VV’s words of being appreciative of all I had. On September 11, my VV solemnly stood alongside me as I reflected on my identity and showed me that what my “role” in the world isn’t as important as how I choose to fill it. My VV showed me the many things that must come from within, “authenticity” being one of them.

And my VV never failed to remind me that no matter what I end up doing with my life, it is always good to have some important tools in my pocket and youthful idealism in my heart. I now see that I will never get too old to let go of believing that things have the potential to be so much more than I could ever know.

As far as all this “knowing” business goes, my VV told me it is okay not to know, not to have a clue about what I should be doing or where I should be going. And if it seems like everyone else knows, and I don’t, then I should revel in my unknowing-ness and in the amazing journey on which it will lead me throughout my life.

Although I do know one thing: I wasn’t brought this far to be left on my own. I’m being guided by my VV to more learning experiences and more blessed encounters. I am a little lost, but it is by being lost that I am humbled to turn to my VV to find the missing pieces from my map and get to wherever I should be.

I looked up from what I had read and realized that I can never say I fully learned all I could from my VV. As I turned on my laptop and felt the old, familiar feeling of getting ready to write about the new shade of gray I had seen, I truly “knew” that I still had a long way to go.

Lesson Learned: You always learn. Always. Just be open to life’s lessons, and you’ll see things that can only add to who you are. The lessons are right in front of you; all you have to do is clean the dirt from your lenses and see the many shades of gray J.

“Learning isn’t a means to an end; it is an end in itself.” ~ Robert Heinlein

Courage

The quintessential nerd that I am, I haven’t been able to stop my desire to learn this summer (despite my best efforts to forget Calculus J). I’ve been indulging my habit by reading some books about influential people. Upon my educational escapades, I’ve come to appreciate the actions of two extremely famous people in American History, an unlikely duo working toward the empowerment of oppressed African-Americans: Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X. I’ve come to learn about each one’s philosophies, background histories, and experiences. Although in some ways these men were like fire and ice, one trait they shared was their courage, their resolve to go against the grain and make a difference in the lives of others. As a novice to this whole “changing the world” business, I had believed this courage can only come to seasoned, well-known advocates for change. I very well could have stayed in my bubble of anti-bravery were it not for the efforts of my Gutsy Guru, who taught me that the courage to present one’s own ideas may bring enlightenment to all those around him/her.

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You can do this, I thought to myself. Don’t psyche yourself out, you know what’s behind that door. Just face it and take care of it. YOU CAN DO THIS!

As I approached my bedroom door from the hallway, fiddling with my Malcolm X sunglasses, I tried to give myself this battle-worthy pep-talk to confront what I already knew was inside. I opened the door slowly, and saw….

STUFF. Stuff and stuff and more stuff, strewn on my bed, my desk, my floor, my walls! I had to recoil at the sight of the colossal mess in my bedroom. It looks like my closet threw up everything inside it! I thought. Rolling up my sleeves and sticking my sunglasses in my hair, I said to myself, “It’s gotta be conquered at some point, might as well take it down today!”

While putting clothes back into my ostensibly nauseous closet, I heard my cell-phone ringing. Of course, it took me a little while to excavate my phone from the layers of junk under which it was hidden, but luckily I answered it right before it went to voicemail. “Hello?” I answered.

“Hi, there!” an upbeat voice responded. “How are you, Abi?”

My Gutsy Guru! I thought. It’s been ages since I’ve heard this voice! “Hey, GG, I’m doing great! How about you?”

GG responded, “I’m pretty good, thanks! I called you because I was hoping you could give me some tips on a presentation I have to prepare for one of my classes.”

As long as you don’t mind that I’m battling the Closet Creature from Beyond, I’ll be happy to help, I thought. “I would love to help! I’m going to put you on speaker while I clean up around my room, okay?”

“Sounds good!” my GG said. With that, my GG began to give me the background info on this presentation. It was supposed to highlight a few inspiring people in history. When I had heard my GG’s suggestions of these figures, I was a bit surprised. Wow, these definitely are not the most popular or predictable figures to highlight. My surprise must have translated through the phone, because after finishing a thought, my GG said, “I know my plans are unconventional, but that is the effect I am looking for. I really want to get my classmates to open up to different ideas. I feel like a totally new viewpoint will make a bigger impact on how they see things versus the same old thing they see all the time.”

I replied, “I understand what you are trying to do. But aren’t you afraid of how they will respond? How their opinion of you may change, or how they may regard your examples?”

My GG confidently said, “Abi, I want my presentation to make an impact. If shaking up their world allows me to plant a seed and help change their lives, then I want nothing more than to scare them into a new perspective!” My GG and I couldn’t help but start laughing after that exclamation.

“Well, then,” I said, “I’m not sure if I can add anything to your plans, GG, but I’ll give my opinion for what it’s worth.” I gave my GG a couple of tips (which my GG really did not need because the plan was so great), and we hung up soon after.

The grammatical tips I gave my GG are totally insignificant compared to the gift my GG gave to me. During our short conversation, my GG had shown me the true nature of courage. My GG set aside what was accepted for what my GG believed was right, and was willing to sacrifice his/her standing in others’ opinions to expose his/her peers to new perspectives. This courage emboldened me to face the challenges both in my closet and in my life, and as a result, neither is too tough to handle any longer J

Lesson Learned: Bravery and Bravado are more different than three letters would lead someone to believe. Putting on a show of courage to make oneself seem more powerful or successful than someone else actually indicates how cowardly someone is to show his/her true colors. Sincere courage comes from one’s resolve to fight for one’s beliefs, especially in the face of opposition. By accepting the personal consequences of an action that will improve the lives of others, one demonstrates an essential trait that all courageous people, from the momentous match of Malcolm and Martin to my GG, value deeply.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Nelson Mandela

From caring comes courage.
Lao Tzu

Composure

Being a vegetarian, I have become pretty familiar with my fruits and veggies, and two fruits that have enriched not only my diet but also my perspective on life are the banana and the kumquat. The super sweet banana has a beautiful yellow and utterly bruise-free peel when it is ready to be eaten. However, a browned peel will reveal the mushy, bruised flesh of the fruit for all to see. Now, the kumquat is unlike the banana in several ways; not only does it have a significantly cooler name, but it is also eaten with its rind. The first taste is surprising because its sweet rind doesn’t hint at the unexpectedly sour flesh of the fruit beneath it. Aside from making me sound like a fruit expert, my knowledge about these two fruits has made me realize that for most of my life I have been a banana, showing the world my feelings and sharing with it my burdens and worries. However, after spending some time with my Put-Together Pal, I realized that portraying the kumquat’s sweet cover even when one is dealing with misfortune within demonstrates a composure which the whole produce aisle seeks to emulate J.

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Summer, summer, summertime! Will Smith’s famous song and countless others had been streaming through my head since my amazing summer had begun. I was spending every day with friends and family, sleeping in, and enjoying myself. On this particular day, a group of friends and I were on the drive home from a great day together.

Rocking my opaque white sunglasses in the backseat, I surveyed the beaming faces of my friends around me. We had been blasting the radio, eating, and laughing our heads off the entire trip. This is what it’s all for, I thought. The hours of studying, the chores, the responsibilities…..all of that makes these moments that much sweeter.

There was no way we were going to stop smiling. All of us were so happy to be done with school and to be spending time with one another. All of us had grins plastered on our faces, but no one’s was bigger than that of my Put-Together Pal. My PTP was smiling enough for our entire car! The jokes, silly faces, and crazy laughter that came from my PTP were enough to keep the entire car cracking up for the whole trip home.

While we were catching our breath after laughing at a joke, one of my friends said, “Okay, everyone say some of the most memorable times from school!”

We all reminisced about some of the craziest teachers, most fun assemblies, and best days we had had while in school. Wow, I guess we have actually had some amazing times together, I thought as we turned to my PTP to hear another memorable event. At first, my PTP couldn’t come up with an event that one of us had not already mentioned, but after a while, my PTP found a memory.

“Well, it’s not really a positive memory, but it has been with me all year long, so I guess it counts. You guys may not have known that I have a health problem I have been contending with for a while, and it’s been pretty rough to deal with this year,” my PTP said, smile fading. “It has definitely been a challenge for me, and if it worsens I hope I can deal with it in my future.”

The atmosphere in our car had changed after we heard this memory. The gummy worms weren’t being inhaled at lightning-fast speed, the music that had been blasting from the stereo was reduced to a dull roar, and all of us were a bit quieter. Despite the aura shift, my PTP aimed a small grin at all of us in the car. “Come on, guys, it’s okay! Here, let’s change the subject.”

My PTP then started talking about funny stories with friends and family members, and within the minute had us all laughing once again. Our car ride home continued to be the crazy party it had started out to be. And yet, while my PTP was amusing all of us, I couldn’t help but think, Wow, this is the kid that is contending with a serious issue? This happy goofball? I was so amazed to see the composure my PTP had in the face of misfortune.

That willingness to portray a positive face to the world even if that positivity may not be what is behind the scenes demonstrated a true strength and selflessness to me. When the rest of the car had begun to feel unhappy for our friend’s misfortune, my PTP immediately sought to bring us the joy we had felt before. My PTP tried to match the bright summer sun with his/her own shining light, and in doing so, had allowed our light to shine through as well.

Lesson Learned: Composure is a wonderful dish that we all need to eat. Mix grace, strength, and selflessness, bake for a couple of years, and sprinkle a great sense of humor on the top before serving to the world J. Of course, sharing one’s issues with friends and family is necessary, especially when the issues are serious. But when someone has the composure to deal with these issues without casting the burdens of worry or discomfort upon others, s/he is accessing an inner strength that will improve his/her life and the lives of others. Harness your inner kumquat, and find the strength to put the sweetest face to the world, even in the sourest of times. J

“The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper” Aristotle

Faith

How do you believe in something you can’t see? Is it like a ghost, a shadowy doubt that scares you into believing in it, or like true love, which promises total happiness? I ask all these super deep questions because I’m trying to find the answer to the most important question of all: Do Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny really exist? I mean, how can childhood be fulfilled without visits from these fabled figures? My question shows my struggle with the idea of believing in something that I can never prove is real. I had always been skeptical of this risky idea of faith, until I spoke with a Believer (Not Always a Seer) that taught me that having faith in the uncertain is well worth the risk.

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What the WHAT?????? I thought to myself while playing with a pair of my blue sunglasses at home. I have to decide where I am going to LIVE for the next four years within the next two weeks???

In my anxiety I accidentally tossed my blue Fake Bans across the room. As I got up to go get them, the piles of info I had from the colleges I had been accepted to spilled off my lap and spread out all over the floor. Yep, this is pretty much what my brain looks like right now, I thought, a chaotic mess of information.

It was the middle of April during my senior year, and decision time was getting dangerously close. Where would I go to school for the next four years? Where would I have midnight runs to pig out on frozen yogurt?!?!?! These where the important questions I had to ask myself during the entire month of April, and even with all the research and people I had talked to, I didn’t have a clue of where I wanted to go. I had planned to check out a few schools before the end of the month, but with my mind in a state of pandemonium, I was not sure I would survive the trip.

How on earth can I choose? I thought as I walked over the papers to get my sunglasses, hearing the subtle *crunch* of those immaculately written letters under my feet. And when I do choose, how will I know I have made the right decision?

A prisoner to my mental turmoil, I began to sift through the pile of papers when suddenly my phone rang. Maybe it’s my peace of mind calling to tell me that it is never coming back, I sullenly thought as I answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Abi!” my Believer (Not Always a Seer) said. My B(NAS) was always so positive and upbeat that even the mind-scrambled version of myself couldn’t help but smile when I realized who it was.

“Hey, there!” I responded. “How have you been doing?”

“I’ve been very well, thank you. And how about you?” my B(NAS) said. “I wanted to call because I heard you are a bit worried about your college decision.”

A bit worried is a bit of an understatement, I thought. “Yeah, it’s a really big decision in my life, and I just can’t be sure that I will make the right one.”

My B(NAS) laughed and said, “Don’t worry, Abi. You have to believe that wherever you end up will allow you to be successful and enjoy yourself. Have faith that everything will be all right, my dear.”

Faith? I thought incredulously. But I can’t read online about faith’s impact on a college experience or graduation rates. No student can tell me what grade you’ll get in a class if you have faith.

“Oh, B(NAS), I don’t know if I can do that,” I said. This decision just seems too big for me not to be absolutely sure about it.” Talking about my decision was making me anxious, so I said, “Why don’t you tell me about what has been new with you lately?”

My B(NAS) responded, “Things have been a little uncertain about me being able to move to a new home later on this year, but I have faith that everything is going to work out.”

Oh, poor B(NAS), I thought. For a few years my B(NAS) had been trying to move to a new home to be closer to family, but for one reason or another, the plans had just not been working out. I couldn’t help but ask, “When do you think you’ll be able to move in?”

After a pause, my B(NAS) said, “Honestly I couldn’t say. I’ve had to deal with a lot of changes in my life so I would be able to make this a reality, so I have to trust that I will be able to move when the time is right.”

We hung up soon afterward but instead of poring over letters I thought about what my B(NAS) said. Have to trust when the timing is right? I thought. Your whole life is being affected by this decision that you are basing on your belief that it will turn out okay. Yet instead of being scared, you are peaceful and happy. Hmm, maybe there is something to this faith thing after all.

I did eventually make the decision, and am pretty happy with where I’ve chosen. I may not be 100% sure that everything is going to turn out perfectly for me; I just believe that my choice will take me to a future where I’ll find success and happiness.

Lesson Learned: Having faith can truly empower you. Of course, facts and figures are our friends and oftentimes make us certain of what we know. But in every situation, big or small, faith allows us to enter new experiences with a confidence that we cannot create on our own. Use faith to bring hope to situations that seem hopeless, and maybe one day the Easter Bunny and his imaginary crew won’t seem as imaginary to you J.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King Jr.

Adaptability

I’m not too fond of reptiles, but one that I have always liked is the chameleon. Despite its buggy eyes and scaly skin, the chameleon stands out to me because it possesses the ability to blend in with its surroundings. When threatened or put through a stressful ordeal, the chameleon can change its skin pattern to match that of its environment. As often as I may have tried, I always found it difficult to change my colors like the chameleon when exposed to unfamiliar situations. Thankfully, a Malleable Mentor of mine helped me realize that whether we like it or not, changing to fit our circumstances is something all us baby chameleons need to learn.

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Are you serious??? I thought. This really isn’t happening, is it?

Dismally looking down at my class list for my senior year, I couldn’t deny that I was being faced with an unpleasant change. My original plan of taking an elective and the math class I wanted was not working out. Because of scheduling conflicts, I had to choose between a total change in all the classes I had planned to take and taking a math class two levels ahead of where I was. So much for the line-up of my dreams, I thought. What am I going to do now?

Leaving school that day, just a couple of weeks before the end of my junior year, I couldn’t help but feel the summer gods had gypped me of a real welcome to Relaxation 101. Instead of figuring out which days to go to the beach or hang out with friends, I’m going to be thinking about school, school, and MORE school! I thought. Oh deities of beach balls and sunscreen, haven’t I paid you enough tribute this school year?

All that evening I fretted about what I was going to decide. I called my friends, talked to my parents, and looked to every source of inspiration I could find for guidance. Having left no rock unturned, I finally made the decision to take the advanced math course. This is not my ideal choice, but I figure at this point in my high school experience, it’s just what I’ve got to do, I thought. Now, maybe if I think this thought every minute for the next three months, I’ll feel better about my decision by next fall.

As much as I tried to ignore it, I felt uneasiness about my decision in the following days. One day, during lunch, I was so absorbed in my thoughts about my schedule, my decision, my inability to change my scales to blend in….

WHACK! Being the graceful young lady that I am, I oh-so-elegantly crashed into my MM while walking down a hallway. My tortoiseshell sunglasses toppled off my face on the ground, and I thought, at this rate, I won’t need to worry about next year, because I may not survive the rest of this one!

“I am so sorry, MM, are you okay?” I asked my friend.

“Geez, Abi, what have I ever done for you to knock me over?” my MM replied with a grin. “I’m only joking with you, I’m okay. But how are you? You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

“Well, I do!” I told my MM. “You know the whole scheduling conflicts have really messed with what I had planned to do for next year. Now I’m signed up for a math class I’m not sure I can handle, and I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing or not.”

“Well, I haven’t had to deal with scheduling conflicts, but I think I know about dealing with changes that you don’t really expect or want,” my MM said. We started talking about the different changes my MM had encountered so far, like changes in my MM’s friend groups and the plans my MM had made for the future.

“Of everything I’ve learned from my experience, the most important thing is to know how to adapt to change. Sometimes things happen that we may not like, but we’ve just got to adjust,” my MM told me.

We’ve just got to adjust, I thought. If that’s the case, I better teach my inner chameleon how to change her scales J. “As much as I may not like it, I know you are right. With time, I’ll get used to my choice and move on. Thanks for the advice,” I told my MM that sunny day during the last week of my junior year.

Nearly nine months later, I understand the value of this lesson even more. My math class, although daunting at times, has been manageable for me, and my senior year has been more amazing than I could have ever imagined. With my MM’s lesson under my belt, I have practiced changing my colors to fit my circumstances, not only in making decisions about colleges and scholarships, but also in deciding how I want to live my life. Now, it has become easier for me to wear the once color that fits in all situations: happiness. J

Lesson Learned: When we encounter change in our life, we must learn to deal with it. Whether it is positive or negative, change is something we cannot avoid; our best bet to find happiness is adjusting to our surroundings and making the best of our situations. When at all possible, try to make your surroundings as comfortable for you as you can, but for those cases in which there isn’t too much you can do, pull a chameleon and blend in, my dears J.

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react.- John Maxwell

The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn.- Author Unknown

Individualism

For those of us who’ve taken American History, the term “rugged individualism” is all too familiar. We’ve been taught that the crux of American success has been Americans’ ability to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Personally, the term rugged individualism makes me think of our Founding Fathers wearing lumberjack garb while building the White House by hand (despite all the historical inaccuracies J). As odd as the image may be, it represents a part of individualism I believe is really important, which is working hard to achieve one’s personal goals. The other part is being able not only to accept but also to embrace the face that we are all different from one another. In my search to a “true individual” whom I can emulate, I encountered a Grown-On-Their-Own, or GOTO, friend of mine who showed me that proudly being yourself brings about a special happiness that is uniquely yours.

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It was a beautiful day outside, and despite the scholarships, homework, and chores I knew I needed to do, I decided instead to call a friend and hang out.

The sunshine must be brightening my mood, I thought as I dialed the number of my GOTO pal. My mood got an additional boost after I had finalized lunch plans with my GOTO friend. Responsibilities will always be in my life, but days like these are hard to come by! I thought. And so, shining as vibrantly as a fluorescent light bulb, I grabbed my keys and raced off to lunch.

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Settling into my booth at the restaurant, I smiled into the lens of my green/yellow/red sunglasses. I’m so glad I can just relax with a friend on a beautiful day like today, I thought. After my GOTO friend sat down, we started talking our future plans, our schools, and all the responsibilities we had set aside to have lunch that day.

“It is so unlike me to NOT do something I know I should be doing,” I said as we started eating. “Usually, I’m the odd one out in my group of friends, the one who pushes everyone to study and do their work.” Now, look at me, I thought, skipping out on doing homework to go to lunch. I’m such a rebel!

My GOTO pal understood exactly what feeling like the odd one out is like. “I’ve pretty much always been a little bit different from everyone I know, even when I was a little kid. When all the kids wanted to go play at the park, I always wanted to talk with the adults instead. It wasn’t that I didn’t like to have fun, it was just that when I was with older people I felt like there was more that I could talk about. Ever since then I knew I was going to live life a little differently than everyone else.”

Wow, I thought. If I knew I was going to be a loony homework fiend when I was a little kid, I’m not sure I would have come to those terms so peacefully. It’s really cool that my GOTO friend is so comfortable with feeling different from others. “Ok, so you seem okay with being the ‘unusual’ person in your group. But haven’t you ever felt like your differences make you stand out too much?”

My GOTO pal paused for a moment while chewing a bite of food. After swallowing, my GOTO pal said, “Sometimes I guess I feel like that. But Abi, I know who I am, and I don’t want to lose the odd qualities I have. I’m just going to strive to achieve my goals and hope for the best.”

There must have been some extra Confidence sprinkled on that chewy bite, I thought. Um, waiter, can I have some of that please? “You seem like you know exactly what you want to do,” I said. “Where do you get all your confidence?”

“Well, basically I have had to work my butt off for everything I’ve got,” my GOTO pal said. “Whether it was doing chores around the house or working part-time, I have always had to earn what I have. I figure, if I’ve worked hard up to this point and had enough to be happy, I should be able to achieve happiness in the future.”

Work hard, accept who you are, work hard, accept who you are…. This mantra repeated itself over and over in my mind as we finished our meal. Driving home from the restaurant, I realized I had been an eyewitness to a demonstration of true individualism. My GOTO pal not only celebrated the fact that differences in personality makes one unique but also realized that working hard for one’s own goals can bring about fulfilling success. Watch out, rugged individualism and your five-o-clock shadow, there’s a new, clean-shaven “UNIQUE” in town!

Lesson Learned: Celebrate those traits that make you unique and own up to the hard work you need to do to succeed in your personal goals. If you are the lone artist in your group of friends, then paint them the best picture you can! Only singer in your study group? Belt out the latest popular song in the middle of calculus homework like a professional! If you work hard to develop who you are, you can achieve an inner contentment that no one can take from you. (And if they try, clobber them with the hammer of rugged individualism J)

“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Selflessness

Life offers us lots of opportunities to be selfless, don’t you think? All those tip jars at coffee shops that collect spare change to donate to animal shelters or children’s hospitals are just screaming at us to be as unselfish as possible. As much as I love cute puppies or needy children as the next person, sometimes I feel like these small acts of kindness only demonstrate a convenient opportunity to be selfless, something so routine that we might not recognize the beauty in what we’re doing altogether. For a very long time I was an everyday tipper in the tip jar of life until I interacted with a Caring Coin-dropper that taught me to take a step back and appreciate every penny I give.

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What a day! I thought as I walked into my house after school one day. It’s only Tuesday and I’ve got the exam of my lifetime tomorrow, two major projects due Thursday, and enough homework to last me into next year. As I collapsed on my bed, I marveled at how quickly an ordinary week at school could turn into a festival of insanity. I was a little grumpy after a pretty busy school day, but I knew all I needed was a snack and an episode of The Office and I would be good to go. All I need is a PB&J sandwich and a little and I’ll be fine.

Once my twenty minutes of heaven were over, I knew I had to buckle down and get to work. Unfortunately, my plans to finish all my work were drastically changed thanks to my math homework. When my teacher assigned ten problems, she forgot to mention that each problem was going to take an hour to do! I thought. Thankfully, a welcome text message interrupted my battle with my homework (one which, unfortunately, I was losing.) The message was from my CC, and it read, “Hey, what were the pages we needed to study tonight?”

Grateful for any distraction, I quickly replied with the information. “Do you want to Skype study for it later on?J” I asked. I really, really, REALLY need help studying for this exam and I know CC is pretty comfortable with that subject, I thought.

I was relieved after receiving a, “Yeah, sure!” text response. Comforted by the knowledge that my CC was going to help me later that evening, I armed myself with a sharpened pencil and resumed my battle with those unbeatable math formulas.

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FINALLY DONE! I thought. Math, though a good fighter, ultimately lost to my iron will (and calculatorJ), and those projects never stood a chance! My triumphant attitude faded when I realized how much time I spent during my valiant battle. I comforted myself by thinking, well, at least I’ve still got my CC’s help for the test tomorrow!

I signed on my Skype account and waited for CC to sign on as well. As though perfectly timed, my CC called me just as I had gotten out my study materials.

“I’m so glad you offered to help me!” I told CC. “I know with your help I’ll be all set for tomorrow.”

My CC looked pretty exhausted, but smiled and said, “No problem. I’m glad I could help. By the way, I like your sunglasses.”

Sunglasses? Reaching up to my head, I realized my tortoiseshell sunglasses had been perched up there all day long. “Thanks!” I said. “Hopefully you can help me use them to discover the key to understanding everything that is going to be on the test tomorrow!”

Whether or not my sunglasses actually helped me, I’ll never know, but I was certainly glad I had my CC to explain to me all the concepts I didn’t know. My CC is a lifesaver! I thought.

In the middle of our study session, I realized CC was yawning up a storm. “Hey, why are you so tired?” I asked.

CC said, “I’m not tired, don’t worry about it. Let’s just keep going.”

“Okay then,” I responded, a little suspicious of CC’s comment. My yawn radar was up and ready to detect any more exhaustion.

Once CC fell asleep during one of my study questions, I knew it was definitely time for bed. Poor CC, I thought. “Hey, sleepyhead!” I said to CC. “I think you’ve done enough studying tonight. Clearly you need some sleep right now. I’m just sorry you didn’t have enough time to prepare for the exam tomorrow.”

My CC sleepily grinned at me and said, “Oh, don’t worry about it. I prepared for the exam a few hours ago. I just hope I was able to answer your questions. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow, Abi!”

After turning off my computer, I realized my CC chose to help me instead of doing something else (like, I don’t know, SLEEPING?). My CC knew how badly I needed some guidance and put my needs in front of his/her own. Although stuck with an hour more of my own studying after that conversation, I was happy to know that there was someone in the world who was willing to put some hard earned money, not just extra change from a morning coffee, into the tip jar of my success.

Lesson Learned: Selflessness is putting the needs of others above your own. While helping others in any way will always be appreciated, it means so much more to you and whoever you are helping if you make the choice to help others instead of doing so out of convenience. Take it from a convert from the coin-dropping style of community service, fishing a few more dollars out of your pocket to supplement the thirty five cents you got back in change will make some cute puppies or needy children very happyJ.

“A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.” Albert Einstein

Integrity

Although I’m pretty sure each blog I write shows that I find inspiration in unusual places, I think the Harry Potter books have opened my scope of inspiring sources to a new “unusual”. The one event that has inspired me the most in the series was when Dumbledore awarded Neville Longbottom ten points for Gryffindor in the 1^st book. Neville received the points because he showed courage not by confronting his enemies but by standing up to his friends when he believed they were doing something wrong. His actions introduced me to the idea of integrity, but I never completely understood it until my Brave Bystander showed me how much courage it really takes to have integrity.

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“Ok, here we go!” My teacher said. “Pencils out, clear your desks, it’s test time!”

Test time, how wonderful, I thought sarcastically. Maybe after test time we can write a paper too!

I may have been a little grouchy about the test that day, but I knew I had no reason to complain about anything. I was not dealing with ridiculous workloads or issues with family or friends. My only concern at that moment was doing well on my test. Exchanging my pink sunglasses with racecar flag print for my pencil, I heard my teacher tell us to take our time on the test because there were a few trick questions. I felt my stomach sink as I thought, Trick questions? Really, you HAD to tell us that? Once I received my test, I tried to clear my mind of those uneasy thoughts and got to work.

Hmmm, this one’s a little tricky but I think I got it…..Yeah, that one’s “A”……on and on this commentary was going on in my head, like two sportscasters were giving me the play-by-play of my progress. Just as my hand started cramping, I heard one of the mustachioed guys in my head call a time out.

As I took a look around my classroom, I noticed every student was intently focused on the test. Nearby me I saw my Brave Bystander gripping a pencil with and staring the test down with a deeply focused gaze. Dang, I guess everyone’s probably got their own set of sportscasters in their minds right now, I thought. Nice to know I’m not the only one.

Once my hand had stopped throbbing, I went back to completing my test. These questions aren’t TOO horrible. I wonder what my teacher meant by trick questions???

Right at that moment I heard a collective “Ugh!” from my class. As I turned to the final page of my exam, I realized that my teacher had made all the trick questions about topics we had barely discussed. Internally moaning myself, I thought, Great, I read about this stuff a month ago! What am I supposed to do???

I hunkered down and tried to “process-of-elimination” my answers to the last five questions. Around me I heard kids in my class asking the teacher for help, but I tried to tune them out. I was able to answer four of the last five questions, but the last trick question had me wavering between two answers. It could be this one right? But I don’t remember reading about this!!! Still, this one makes more sense….But what about the other one? AHHH, What is happening here?

I could tell this was the question that was stumping everyone in my class. I heard people asking my teacher about how to understand the question, if this answer or that answer made more sense, any and every question available. I can’t think!!!! Which answer is it?? Which answer…. And then, as if someone turned on the light bulb in my head, I remembered the answer. My teacher went over an example of this in lecture! I KNOW WHICH ANSWER IT IS!!!

I put down my answer choice, turned in my test, and before I knew it, class was over. And it’s a slam dunk for Mariam! I heard the sportscasters say in my head.

As I was leaving my class that day, I noticed my Brave Bystander fiddling with some papers on the desk. “Hey, BB, what did you think of that test? Crazy, wasn’t it?” I asked.

“Yeah, I guess so….” BB responded. How unusual, I thought. BB usually always has something funny to say. “Is everything ok?” I asked.

After a few moments of deliberation, BB asked me, “Abi, did you change the answers on your test to what people said in class?”

What??? I thought. Oh no, BB thinks I cheated on this test! “No, of course I didn’t do that BB! I was wavering on the last question until I remembered our teacher lecturing on one of the answer choices.” Ouch, I thought. Why would BB say something like that?

BB said, “Oh, okay. I just thought that you changed your answers because everyone in our class was leaning toward one of them.” As BB left the classroom, BB waved at me and gave me a little smile.

After that event, I felt a bit offended by BB. I couldn’t understand why BB would have confronted me like that. Luckily now, a little while later, I realize BB was trying to make sure I wasn’t doing anything to debase my own character. As uncomfortable as it made BB, s/he still did what s/he had to do to protect and uplift me. I’d say it was an action worthy of one hundred Gryffindor points J.

Lesson Learned: Demonstrating integrity can be very difficult at times, but it truly is what makes someone a good person. Sure, it may be hard to tell your friends, your family members, even your parents when they are doing something wrong or offensive, but you have to let them know that you are only trying to help them make better choices. It will take time, but building integrity in your character is the most important step to being a good person J.

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching.” Jim Stovall

Passion

When I was eight years old, my dream was to become a world-famous actress. To this day, my 3^rd grade teachers remind me of my aspirations to excel in “movie star college”. I’m sure I am typing to a crowd of former astronaut hopefuls and prospective Presidents of the United States, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we were willing to do whatever it took to achieve our dreams. The sparkle of our exciting futures gave us the passion we needed to become whatever we wanted. Unfortunately, as I grew up, my sparkling dreams began to fade as passion became a distant concept in my crazy high school life. Luckily, on an everyday coffee run, I met a Starbucks Sparkler that brought that 3^rd grade sparkle back to my dreams.

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AHHHH, Winter Break, I thought. It was after school on the first day of my winter break, and I was looking forward to resting. After a stressful semester of applying to colleges and searching for scholarships, it was nice to finally have some time to just hang out at home.

As I walked into my house and dropped my backpack in the kitchen (hoping to forget about my homework during my two week vacation) I could only think of the hours of sleep I would be recovering. Sinking into my couch, I fantasized about the five hour nap I was planning to take until I realized I had promised one of my friends to meet for coffee. Oh five hour nap, we were so close, and yet so far away! I thought. Well, at least I’m getting to see an old friend, so sleep can wait….for now. So, grabbing my keys and sliding on my red sunglasses, I hopped into my car and drove to the nearest Starbucks.

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“Oh my gosh, it’s been too long!” I exclaimed when I saw my buddy. He had just returned from college, and I couldn’t help but be excited to see him.

After ordering our drinks and asking each other the usual questions (“How’s school? What are you doing now? Are you so excited for break?”), we started talking about college. My friend described to me his experience as a college student. While listening to him, I realized that in the hustle and bustle of senior year I had not been enthusiastic about my future in college. Don’t you remember how excited you were freshman year when you realized college was only four years away? I asked myself. Now, here you are, three months from decision day, and where’s the excitement?

As if he was reading my mind, my friend asked me what I was looking forward to in college. “Well, I’m pretty excited for the independence, new environment, and new things to do,” I responded unenthusiastically. Whoa there, Abi, don’t be too excited now, I thought. “I guess it seems a bit too far away to seem real to me.”

Enter my Starbucks Sparkler, a woman grabbing a midday coffee, into my deflated expression of my emotion toward college. As my SS was adding sugar to her coffee, she overheard my conversation and jumped in, saying, “Excuse me, dear. I heard you say you were going to college next year, and I want to encourage you to pursue whatever dream you have. Honestly, if you are lucky enough to have your dream at your young age and have the means to achieve it, go for it!”

My SS continued to tell us about her own experiences as a young woman attending college thirty years earlier. She told us she was passionate about studying astronomy, a field that had been previously untouched by women. Her passion motivated her through society’s pressures and even the pressures within her own family. SS advised us as young people today to use our passion for our dreams to propel ourselves to success.

After sugaring her coffee to perfection (and returning to our table a few more times to give us more advice), my SS left Starbucks. That was a pretty interesting situation, I thought. Why did she insist on telling us to be passionate about our goals?

Now, significantly more rested and eagerly awaiting my future university life, I realize my SS wanted us to understand that passion, a true desire and commitment to something, can motivate you to achieve your dreams, regardless of what obstacles may stand in your way. SS taught me that anyone, from the eight-year-old dreamer to the slightly unconventional astronomy student, can have the passion needed to make any dream come true.

Lesson Learned: Just like an actress cannot star in a film without a script, no one can truly achieve their dreams without passion. Passion is the point of reference to which you can look when you are discouraged, stressed, or even exhausted with your lives. When the wildly emotional scenes of your life’s movie threaten to pull you from your dreams, it will be your passion that reminds you to stick to the script. Take it from the almost-premiere actress of our time, having passion will help you win the Oscar of your dreams J.

“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.” T. Alan Armstrong

Humility

I don’t know about you guys, but when I get a compliment, I feel my ego inflate a little bit. Come on, you can’t tell me that when someone congratulates you on a job well done, you don’t feel a little more special than everyone else J. But in my efforts to be humble, I always try to remember that every decision I have made has been shaped by the actions of someone else. Giving the credit to whom it is due is an important part of demonstrating humility. Yet, after experiencing one of the most exciting events of my life with my Modest Miracle Maker, I have learned the important second component of being a truly humble person: the ability to support someone else in achieving her dreams.

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“WHAT???” I exclaimed into the phone. Wait, wait, wait, I think you’ve got it all wrong, I thought. The Young Humanitarian of the Year is supposed to be some incredible kid that cured cancer! There’s no way they can be talking about…

“You, yes, you! You’ve won the nomination!” the joyful voices on the phone said to me. “We’ll call you in a couple of weeks to help you prepare for your speech at our formal banquet, but until then, congratulations!”

Oh my goodness, it really is me! I thought excitedly. I can’t believe this!!!!

I received this amazing news in early June, so I had until late September to write my acceptance speech (and allow the shock to wear off J). The first week after I had received the news, I felt like I was floating on air. Not only was I excited for the experience, I was also really glad that I would be able to present my reasons for volunteering to members of my community. I get to be a voice for the all my friends who are involved in community service….YAY!!!!

As the weeks progressed and my excitement began to wear off, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable about receiving the honor. If I were a genuinely humble person, I wouldn’t need to be recognized for what I do, right? I thought. I can’t misguide my community into believing that I deserve all the credit for my passion for volunteering. I felt like embracing my honor as the Young Humanitarian would mean I was abandoning my humility as a community serviceperson.

This feeling festered inside me, and after a little while, I felt so guilty about receiving the honor that I did not want to accept it at all. After my once sky-high spirits had been weighed down by worries I shared my concerns with my MMM.

“What are you talking about?” my MMM said to me. “Of course your community knows you are grateful for this honor! If you were not a humble person, you would not have achieved anything they are recognizing you for!”

Of course you have to say that, you’re my friend, I thought. “How can I let them know about all the things other people have done for me? You of all people should understand what I mean, MMM. You are one of the main reasons why I am even being honored!”

“Oh, I haven’t done anything. You won this award based on what you did. Your heart guided you, okay? Other people have helped you, but you had all this in you from the beginning,” MMM said. Although I still felt a bit uncomfortable about receiving the honor, my pep talk with MMM boosted my confidence.

As I began writing my speech for the banquet, I realized it was possible for me to relate my personal service successes to the impact others have had on my life. When I presented my speech a couple of weeks later, I thought about all the amazing people that had contributed to my achievements, including my MMM.

A few weeks later, I thought about what MMM had said during our pep talk. There is no way I had accomplished everything I did simply because of who I am. MMM knows that just as well as I do. I thought. Then, like a beam of light shining through the clouds (cue the angelic voices), it hit me. Even though MMM knew it wasn’t just my efforts that contributed to my success, s/he was trying to give me the confidence I needed to write my speech. If I didn’t chat with MMM, I could not have given my genuine message to my community.

Although my MMM has made a huge impact on what I have achieved in my life, s/he set aside any desires for personal recognition to guide and support me while I was being recognized. Instead of seeking a place in my Oscar-esque speech (right after my director, but before my fans), my MMM was focused on lifting me up to achieve the most I could. I thought I was learning humility by recognizing others in my own achievements; little did I know that every influence others had on my life had been teaching me humility as well J.

Lesson Learned: An important part of humility is helping others achieve without seeking any credit. Acknowledging the influence others have had on your life allows you to think you are humble, but selflessly helping others succeed is how you prove it. Everything from being recognized in front of your community to an ordinary compliment is an opportunity for you to demonstrate genuine humility. The next time someone congratulates you on a job well done, don’t just think about your humility, prove it. J

Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. ~William Temple

Balance

Most teenagers today are masters of juggling, and I don’t mean flaming swords or tennis balls. We teens manage to juggle school, athletics, after-school clubs, friends, family, church, volunteering, sleeping, and so much more every single day. While some of us have become quite good at this insane circus act, most of us do not realize that juggling a million things will quickly tire us, and everyone knows the tired flaming sword juggler always gets burned. A little while ago I was in the same position, trying to juggle everything in my life and failing miserably, until my Sophomore Sage taught me that the real trick to this circus act is to balance all my activities.

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*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!* my alarm clock greeted me at 5 AM. As I angrily hit “Snooze” on the clock, wishing I had more time to sleep, I realized I was taking my midterms that day. The stresses and worries that had flooded my mind the night before were returning in waves of anxiety. AHHH, midterms!

I got out of bed and started getting ready for school. As I was brushing my teeth, I realized my bathroom as a total mess. Walking into my bedroom to make my bed, I noticed that my room looked like my backpack had thrown up all over the place. Wow, I thought, I haven’t had much time to clean up, I guess. Well, I would have cleaned up yesterday if I didn’t have to study for the history mid-term. I really should have studied for my science exam, though, that’s test will be more difficult…..

As I reentered the stress zone, I absent-mindedly threw on the cleanest pair of sweats on my floor and, carrying my three hundred pound backpack, ran downstairs to grab a quick bite for breakfast. Ugh, sweats again? I thought as I was sitting down at the table. Where are all my other clothes? Man, I have really been out of touch with myself.

Seeing my dad slide an egg on my plate at that moment made me realize I had been out of touch with my family too. “Good morning, stranger,” he said teasingly to me. “We haven’t seen you around here in quite some time!”

He’s right, I thought as I ate my breakfast. I haven’t had dinner with my parents, even seen them after school, since the beginning of the week. What the heck is happening to me?

This thought wormed its way through all my mid-term stresses into my head. As I was driving to school, I could only think about how I felt totally helpless to control my own life and that I was losing my grip on the world. I had realized I had missed numerous club meetings and my little cousin’s dance recital. Everything I did for fun was eliminated from my schedule because of my mid-terms. There is no way I can take my midterms now, I thought. I am a total nervous wreck!

I walked into school with this anxiety, which seemed to grow with each step I took. As I entered a teacher’s classroom to ask about the mid-term that day, I realized he was advising my SS about school, and stood by to wait for them to finish. After a couple of minutes, my SS thanked my teacher for the help and approached me to say hello.

It’s pretty cool that I get to see SS this morning, I thought. We hardly see each other anymore! “How are you, SS?” I asked. “Is everything going well for you?”

My SS replied, “Everything is great, thanks. How about for you? Is everything okay, Abi?”

“My midterms are really freaking me out, SS. I HAVE to do well on them, I just don’t know what I will do if I don’t,” I said. Although I had been thinking about this all week long, telling someone about my worries opened up a wave of emotion. I blinked back tears as I said, “I just don’t know what to do.”

My SS gave me a hug and the best piece of advice I received that year. “Listen, Abi,” SS said, “You are making yourself miserable. By stressing out over your mid-terms, you have only made yourself less capable to take them! Even if you did horribly on you exams, you can work it out with your teachers so you can retake them. You have got to give yourself a break! Try to balance everything in your life and trust me, everything will be okay.”

After that pep-talk, I wiped my tears and approached that school day with all the confidence in the world. Although I was relieved to learn I had done well on all my mid-terms, I was even more that grateful my SS talked some sense into me. I have now turned in my flaming swords in favor of a triple-beam balance; and I must say, as a senior balancing applications, school, friends, family, and activities, I believe it is working very well J.

Lesson Learned: You have to balance, my dears. Balance your family time with study time, your club commitments with “me”-time, your happy time with your sad time! It may seem scary to focus yourself on different areas of your life, but take it from someone who knows, it is even scarier to be stuck on one thing and see everything else crumble. Retire from your juggling career, and you’ll see that balancing your priorities allows you to truly enjoy your life. J

“Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.”- Robert Fulghum

Wisdom

“A”s on a report card sure do make people feel good. What better way to show you actually know something in this world, right? Unfortunately, excellent grades, as awesome as they may make us feel, do not necessarily indicate how much someone actually understands about their world. The class brainiac may have all the facts memorized, but without wisdom, she’s just a cup that can be filled and poured at will. I was just like any other empty-headed smarty-pants, until my Wise Wonder Woman taught me exactly how to make the important stuff stick in my mind.

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SAT, SAT, SAT……My mind was reeling from brutal encounters with various Critical Reading sections and Math section formulas. It was the week before I was going to take the SAT and I was so nervous you could have cut through tension in my bedroom with a knife.

I had been studying in my bedroom since I had gotten home from school that day. Green sunglasses perched on my head, I had been reviewing vocab cards and math problems all afternoon. My stress levels elevated with each turn of the pages in my study books, and by the time my mom called me for dinner that day, I was overflowing with anxiety.

I feel like everything I’m doing isn’t helping me face this beastly test, I thought. Well, at least I only have this test to focus on…

BEEP! My cell phone was receiving a text message, a welcome distraction to my anxious eyes. “Hey Abi, don’t forget we need you to call the office for Key Club and send in that form ASAP.” Ugh, I thought, maybe this wasn’t as welcome a distraction as I wished it was. I completely forgot about that club stuff!

Logging on my computer to print out the forms I needed, I felt extremely burdened in all my obligations. SAT, clubs, what else do I need to do?!

A friendly Facebook update about an upcoming history test added to my mental madness. That’s right, the test is this week. I haven’t read over the notes at all this week! But I have to study for SAT \, oh yeah, and that club stuff too…AHHHH! How is this going to get done???

As I was drowning in a deluge of my thoughts, I received a text from by WWW that rescued me from myself. It read, “Hey girl, what’s up?”

I replied, “I’m okay…=P just really, really busy. How about you?”

“I’m pretty good =). What’s keeping you so busy?” WWW texted back.

Poor WWW heard everything that had made its way into my head that day. After filling a few text messages with all the news of that day, I typed, “And I just don’t know how I’m going to get everything I need done.”

I’m stuck, like a fly on sticky paper, I thought. I don’t know how I’ll make it out of this mess….

BEEP! WWW’s text interrupted my worries. In a clear, simply put phrase of wisdom, my WWW typed, “Abi, you know you can ask others for help, right? Just because you ask for help doesn’t mean you aren’t as strong as I know you are. =)”

That short message penetrated me to my core. Well, yeah, I can ask for help….But I can do it..., I thought. Oh, wait a second, actually I can’t do it all by myself…Why didn’t I think of that? I realized that I never thought about asking for help because I was so absorbed in working hard and doing the best I could on my own. Of course, even though I had all the resources available to me, because I had not asked anyone for help, I felt helpless. WWW’s little package of wisdom truly helped me, and I was so awed by that small but powerful piece of advice that all I could text back was what I truly felt: “Thank you. =)”

Lesson Learned: Wisdom trumps knowledge every time. Reciting the dictionary is not nearly as important as expressing the few words you really need to show someone you truly care for them; being a classroom genius won’t do much for you unless you learn how to apply your facts to the world around you. With wisdom, one can see beyond the stress, anxiety, anger, and disappointment in life and discover the hidden opportunities to realize that every experience truly is incredible. J

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kindness

Karma is the greatest motivator to do something nice for others. We are all taught, in some way or another, that we should treat people the way we would want to be treated. In “Abi Terms”, if I share my piece of cake with you, I should be able to expect you to do the same for me, right? My example shows that kindness these days has been transformed into something we exhibit because we hope others will do the same for us. I myself lived under this impression of kindness until a couple of Secret Samaritans taught me that true kindness is gladly given, with no strings attached.

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“CAR WASH!!!!! Come get your cars washed!” It was a sunny Saturday morning, and, you guessed it, I was working a car wash for one of my school clubs. All morning kids had either been advertising, waving signs and yelling at the top of their lungs, or scrubbing away at dirty cars. It seems like we are powering this carwash with pure enthusiasm and spirit, I thought happily as scraped away dirt from a car’s rims.

All that morning cars had been pulling in and out of our wash station. With a few sponges, soap, and towels, my club was raising money and awareness for our cause in our community. I was so happy to know we were reaching our service goals, but I didn’t have time to process our success right then. My mind was whirling that morning because I was the leader in charge of our entire fundraiser. Cries of “Abi, where should we move this car?” and “Abi, can we switch our jobs?” echoed in my head all day long. Feeling slightly overwhelmed, I had to constantly remind myself that morning that all the craziness was worth it because we were helping out our community. My friends are doing an amazing job with this fundraiser, I thought as I slid on my blue and brown sunglasses. The least I can do is mirror their enthusiasm and hardwork, right?

This thought and the generous donations of all our customers helped me overcome my worries. Although their monetary donations were much more than what we could have asked, the positive energy each shared with us helped to fuel our efforts all day long.

One couple of Secret Samaritans supplied our car wash with enough positive energy to power a small city! They brought an enormous truck with a bug-encrusted windshield that occupied the time of a few dedicated car washers. Our enthusiastic washers could have finished this truck in a few minutes, but unfortunately, because of our limited supplies, the job took us much longer than it should have.

The SS’s were pleased with their tidy truck after we finished, and paid us just as generous a donation as all our other customers. After they left, we continued to wash more and more cars with our one-house, six-sponge operation. We continued for a little while until we noticed that truck with the once-bug-encrusted windshield was pulling into our parking area once again. Wait a second….I recognize that truck, I thought. I wonder why they came back? Oh no, I hope we didn’t forget to clean any part of the car!

Feeling slightly uneasy, I approached my SS’s truck, and saw that, as they got out of their car, they were carrying a hose, nozzle, and hose splitter.

I must have been wearing my confusion like a mask on my face, because one look at me, and one of the SS’s said to us, “Listen, kids. Your operation here sucks, so we decided to give you these supplies to help you out. “

We all started jumping up and down and smiling until our cheeks were sore. Thanks to this lovely couple, who was just running errands on a Saturday morning, we were able to make more money for our cause. But more importantly, this couple of Secret Samaritans taught us that kindness really does not need to be solicited. Their donation had compensated for the fact that we had scrubbed their bug-encrusted windows clean, but this couple, who noticed that we were a group of kids who needed help, truly demonstrated kindness to us by helping us just because they could.

Lesson Learned: Kindness is something given freely and without any expectations of getting it back. Being nice to someone is not like maintaining a bank account, where you pay kindness to satisfy a debt of someone else being nice to you; when you are truly kind, you do something because you know it is right to do so. Kindness, sincere care for others, will make a deeper impact that the indebted kindness of karma any day J.

You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you. ~John Wooden